either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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