I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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