Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
