He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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