eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
