I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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