I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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