don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
