My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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