Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
