Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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