Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
