Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If I die, sorry about rent.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
