after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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