Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just want to make out with him forever
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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