You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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