i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
