Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
