jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
