I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can't turn off my feet"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
