Banned from zoo.
Again?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
