So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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