OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
