im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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