Im at strip club and am horny
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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