Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize
