Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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