so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
