Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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