If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
