i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
