Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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