Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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