I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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