wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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