took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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