i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Congratulations! We have a period
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
