Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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