I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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