You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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