I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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