new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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