You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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