What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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