If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
