i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My dick has a subreddit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
