I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
