i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
