Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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