Where is the hickey?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
