home. puking in laundry basket.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
